“We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends.”
Sir. Francis Bacon
It’s fairly easy for us to see the ‘obvious’ people to forgive. Everyone has them – people we don’t like, or someone who has hurt our feelings in some way. It could be an ex-partner, or someone at work who always makes life difficult. It’s clear that we may benefit from forgiving them. The act of self-forgiveness has also become increasingly popular as emotion based therapies realise that it is crucial to a person moving forward in their lives.
But it can also be hard to forgive people close to you. There may be a friendship or relationship in your life that seems okay, but it’s not quite as strong as it used to be. If you look back over the course of that relationship, you may find that even though resentments have been buried, they are still there.
It could be one big resentment, or more commonly, lots of small seemingly trivial things that have built up over time – but if you’re reading this and seeing someone’s face in your mind, then it might be time to start asking some questions:
How can I take responsibility for my feelings and avoid blaming the other person for my feelings of resentment?
What can I do to genuinely release this anger?
How much better will this relationship feel once this resentment is gone?
…because you WILL feel better – once you let go of the anger, there’s more room for the love.